Tuesday, April 30, 2013

How To Be Feminine - True Femininity And Womanhood

©2008-2013 The Seductive Woman

Good morning, angel! It's been said that self-mastery is a supremely masculine trait, but it's also a trait of true femininity and womanhood. True femininity's counterpart is the capacity to wait with faith. For it's faith, vitalizing the passive situation, which makes femininity meaningful.

In today's femininity lesson, we'll be covering:

The traditional roles of true femininity based on the spiritual, the sexual and the maternal

Fruitful subjects for meditation and for understanding true femininity and womanhood

The ideal or healthy feminine personality


Without faith, women who are gifted with too much passivity and submissiveness become poor and psychologically sterile creatures, contributing nothing, but a pretty, pale-blue picture of passivity. 

Almost everyone knows a sweet grandmother whose passive 'saintliness' and subservience before the tyranny of her husband looks very wonderful, until we turn the picture about, and realize that her 'saintliness' and subservience is just as egocentric as his tyranny.

Some women who are lacking in self-confidence and self-respect may be also encouraging a low value man's mistreatment by permitting it. Such women may think of themselves as martyrs, wearing crowns or halos. 

But they're not being true to themselves, and to their own needs and desires,  dear heart, and they're certainly not contributing to men's maturity, or to their own, by asserting their right to live as fully functional women.

In becoming patient 'Patsies' and 'doormats' many women are unfortunately encouraging low value men to develop vicious tempers, ungoverned appetites, and the general immaturity worthy of a spoiled child of two.

The sons of such women often adore them, but that's because their mothers spoil them. Their wives later grit their teeth because the silver cord is un-penetrable. Furthermore, women who are enslaved by this misconstruction of femininity become helpless, exasperated, and hopeless of escape.

Unfortunately, a great many of the statements of Jesus seem to the superficial gaze to encourage this false kind of femininity. Misinterpretation of these statements has all too often thickened the wall of pseudo-femininity, and cut a woman off from the dynamic faith without which true femininity and womanhood is meaningless.

That being said, lovely, true femininity is non-aggressive, submissive to a high value man's dominance, but it's assertive when needed, and is as meaningful as true masculinity in that it's receptive and pro-active. 

But when a woman closes the door on her femininity, psychologically speaking, and when she accepts no new ideas, and remains merely passive, it becomes a dead thing. This sort of false femininity doesn't serve the purposes of life any more than does blind and chaotic aggression.

The capacity to remain pliant, receptive, and alive in the face of every discouragement is the feminine parallel to the test of hardiness endured by the medieval knight, or by the modern aspirant to true alpha manhood.

In addition, a 'living' feminine attitude is a woman's only basis for success in relationships with men, dove. At the same time, the anti-logic of femininity is confusing to men and women who try to evaluate everything rationally. 

The traditional roles of true femininity is based on the spiritual, the sexual and the maternal:

"I'm God's daughter. I'm --------'s wife, I'm --------'s mother. I exist because I'm needed by someone else who's real." 

But a woman needs to have healthy interests and passions and causes she cares about, dove, as well. And when children grow up, the mother may feel like no one. 

Even the pretense of real identity can be lost in a woman if she isn't psychologically mature.  The traditional roles of true femininity starts with the woman, Eve, and is the true and real nature of a woman. 

When a modern day Eve isn't mature, and when she lacks knowledge and wisdom, her relationships fail. But if she rejects her natural 'Eve reactions' because they seem silly, her relationships will also fail.

Furthermore, in order to achieve a 'yes,' a woman often has to say 'no.' There's a kind of polarity in this; a woman's 'no' challenges a man's assertion, and her too-ready 'yes' leaves him indifferent, or provokes his negative response.

A helpful illustration for women who have difficulty in eliciting a positive response from men can be attributed to Madame de Stael, a 17th-18th century French woman of letters.  She calls attention to the spider in its nest. It never goes after its prey, yet it never fails to make its catch.

Many modern women have a problem of developing their femininity in the absence of masculine stimulus. Such women can benefit from making a detailed study of true femininity and womanhood, cupcake. 

In addition to the books suggested at the end of this post, the following are fruitful subjects for meditation and for understanding true femininity and womanhood:

True femininity is amoral. Cleopatra, who was incidentally not at all beautiful, was also not at all moral. Although traditional feminine women have been related to purity and virtue - in the bible, in legend and in men's thinking - men don't actually so much believe in the purity and virtue of an individual woman as they project an ideal image upon a woman.

That being said, traditional, masculine and high value men prefer purity and virtue in women. If a woman is seen or suspected of being promiscuous and sexually 'easy,' and if she seems to high value men to commit the slightest false step in her relationships with other men, the image projected upon her becomes as black as it was white. 

This polarity of the two extremes of the man's image of a woman is corroborated to some extent by a woman's nature. As long as her relationships are directed by love, and by high morals/values, she does remain singularly clean. But as soon as she begins to use her relationships in the service of her wish for power, she becomes singularly unclean, warped, and corrupt.

The Ethereal Virgin

True femininity heals by intuition. Florence Nightingale and Clara Barton are outstanding figures for study in this connection. The healing power of feminine peace, especially when contrasted to masculine war, is more than a mere bit of lyric poetry. It has to do with the mother-image; with the return of Antaeus to the earth for the renewal of his strength. 

The experience of a masculine and high value man finding peace through his relationship with a truly feminine and high value woman is essential to the well-being of the man, dove, and the experience of granting this peace to a man through some sort of relationship is essential to the well-being of the truly feminine woman.

True femininity is curious, but it accepts adventures rather than seeks them. The story of Eve, subtle in so many aspects, points this out also. The curiosity of femininity is related rather to that which comes to it than to that which she goes out to seek.

True femininity is faithful, once inspired by love. Very few women could retain their composure over fifty years of waiting, but once a woman's sure of the direction of her love, she can wait and is faithful.

The highest ideal of femininity with which the Western world is familiar is that of Mary, the mother of Jesus and a virgin. In essence, dove, the concepts clustered around Mary are feminine ideals of the utmost simplicity and clarity. 

True femininity receives and nourishes inspiration, enduring the pain necessary to its growth and development. Once more, the capacity to endure becomes imbued with living faith.

Both men and women are prone to develop pseudo-feminine patterns as they're to develop pseudo-masculinity. Once more, this is a problem of degeneration, and degeneration can be healed only by understanding the basic pattern, seeing where it went wrong, then revitalizing it through combining these two insights.

In order to stimulate his masculinity, a man who's too feminine should marry a woman who is more feminine, dear one. A woman tending to be too masculine should marry a man who's more masculine than she. 

Women who want to develop more femininity should avoid those situations which are based on a protest against the feminine role (feminism,) or at least which emphasizes the masculine values of logic, physical ruggedness, leadership, dominance, good sportsmanship, parliamentary law, and a general diminution of feeling. 

They need to emphasize and partake in the interplay of emotion and polarity between masculine and dominant men and feminine and submissive women, and feeling, generally. Where femininity's in danger of degenerating through repression or disuse, women fail to make healthy relationships. 

Many women who fail to attract high value men are failing to attract because of their lack of femininity, and are making themselves undesirable as a masculine and high value man's marriage partner. Although such women may be pretty, doll, they may get few offers of dates from masculine and high value men, and never more than two or three with the same man. 

A big part of the problem is a woman's lack of femininity and degenerated femininity. We now live in an era in which femininity is often put down and despised by women - particularly by feminist women - and therefore repressed. And like all repressed functions, it has taken on a certain shame, and has lost power. 

Nevertheless, a woman's femininity - the true and ideal and powerful kind - is the source and means of mutually satisfying and fulfilling relationships between high value masculine and dominant men, and  high value feminine and submissive women.

Where femininity deteriorates, a woman's relationships fail or sink to a low level. 

With regard to modern women who want to succeed in their romantic relationships and marriages, a recognition of their feminine natures, and their own place and power as a feminine woman, is essential.

In addition, a woman should recognize that she's the guardian of her own femininity. True femininity is essentially devoted to its own preservation. A woman will be successful only if she understands this, and that she alone must be the arbiter of her relationships with men, and understand why this is true.

If a woman doesn't understand why it's true, she may be very successful in attracting men; but her relationships will fail over the years. If she identifies herself with her own femininity, and seeks only to preserve herself, at the cost of men and her children, her personality will degenerate. 

She'll even become fickle, calculating, and possessive.

The only reason that a woman has the right to make the ultimate decision in relationships is that she'll guard, nourish, and bear the children which are the result of union with a man. Not for her own sake, merely, but principally for the sake of the children, she must make the ultimate decision on the basis of her deepest feminine feeling. 

If that feeling matures, a woman's whole personality develops. She becomes discriminating, faithful to her choice, and learns to revere human personality.

Many women are habitually over-masculine or their femininity is unreliable, dove, betraying them into unpredictable and unsuitable reactions to the problems of life. When they should be feminine, they they blunder by being harshly masculine.

A woman may be physically attractive, but the cold, calm logic of her mind, and her lack of feminine refinement will clash with a potential suitor's masculinity, as well as fail to stir his ideal feminine images of women, and prevent marriage. 

Furthermore, many career women who have to be aggressive and competitive at work have a tendency to be aggressive in their personal lives, and practice aggression around men, together with logic, always. The result is that men are turned off by them and wary of them.

The men who observe and study such women may seem to be respectful toward them, but secretly disrespectful. The development of a woman's femininity may also be impaired by the same cause that may interfere with the successful development of a man's masculinity. 

The unfeminine woman with the 'superwoman syndrome,' simply doesn't arouse positive feminine images in a high value and masculine man's mind, dove!

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  1. It means a lot to me that you, personally approve, sis! :-)

  2. Based on the last few lines I could read before the paid-only part of the article, I got the impression that truly feminine women are not supposed to think logically? I have always considered myself (and been told by others that I am) a highly feminine woman, but I also am quite intelligent, can think clearly and well, and believe that I use logic a lot of the time (maybe I'm misunderstanding the term "logic")? Or maybe I am completely unfeminine at all? I don't understand! :(


  3. I LOVE the content of your article. Your words are so beautiful and deep and you never fail to make me smile :)

    However, I must disagree on your view on logic. If I understood correctly, logic is a masculine trait that turns off men according to you. I personally don't think it's true. My man loves that I can think logically AND be feminine. :)

    See, logic isn't the problem. Logic is a basic ability of the brain that has a high correlation with intelligence in an individual. Even if you're horrible in math, you can be extremely smart because your brain is MADE to be logical. Humans are made to be more logical.

    Although it is true that men are usually the most "logical" ones and that women are more creative in general, even ART has logic in it!

    As I said, the problem isn't logic, the problem is that women use "logic" as an excuse to reject their feminine side. I am VERY good in math and science, but that doesn't mean I'm a cold, aggressive and masculine woman (Quite the opposite actually :p). It just means that I like those fields :)

  4. Hi, lovelies!

    I agree that a woman can be logical AND feminine. Logic is also a very ideal mental faculty for a woman to have.

    Perhaps I should have added that if a woman is feminine, submissive (not subservient,) and shows logic, that it makes her even more desirable as a woman, like being intelligent and capable does.

    It's when logic is included with many other masculine traits that it can become a problem :-)

  5. Thanks for the reply, Melina! Really, I think there may be such things as a man's logic and a woman's logic. I don't know as much about it as you do, Melina, but now I'm interested in finding out more. And I really don't think I have a man's logic. It's like Serena commented above: I believe logic is a basic ability of the brain that can be an acquired skill to a certain extent, especially for those of us who were educated in the (possibly unique to America) style of both boys and girls together learning the exact same subjects in the same way. (I think one can acquire many masculine traits through modern American education.) But these days all my aim and energy is to be a feminine woman, so even though I may be able to think on the same level as a man, I often don't choose to and really don't need to since I have my husband to do that. As I think over my interactions with my husband, it does seem that my overall thinking patterns tend around the emotional and especially spiritual far more than the logical or analytical.