Tuesday, October 23, 2012

How To Tell If He Is Using You - Signs That A Man Is Using You

©2008-2013 The Seductive Woman

Hello my feminine lovely! A question I've been asked many times by women; "How can I tell if he's USING me?' Another question I'm asked is; "What are the SIGNS that a man is using you?"

Before answering, I'll ask them; "What's your intuition telling you?" 

I always ask that question because the sense or feeling that you're being used/taken advantage of by a man, is usually a major telling sign in itself. 

Moreover, if you have an intuitive sense or feeling that you're being used by a man, your feelings are usually fairly accurate. 

**Too often a woman is either ignoring her intuition/gut instincts in regards to a man using her, or denying her feelings altogether. 

Could the man in your life, the man you care about, be using you? 

Do you sense that he's using you?

If you answered "'yes" to the question, the fact of the matter is that you're probably being used by him.  

Here's some facts about a man using a woman...

A man either looks at a woman as a TEMPORARY companion (such as 'booty call'/'friend with benefits,') or he'll be looking at her as a girlfriend/future wife (a woman who he's committed to.) 

A man who's USING a woman is never thinking about having a real relationship with her, or about devoting himself wholeheartedly to her. 

A man who's using a woman is simply looking for a brief fling where he can take advantage of her sexually, financially, or both. 

In other words...

She's just a convenience.

How can you ACCURATELY determine whether a man is using you or not? 

Furthermore, what are the tell-tale signs that a man is using you?

Signs that a man is using you - failing to show a genuine interest 

When a man is using you;

He fails to show a genuine interest in getting to KNOW you on a deeper level (learning about your dreams, passions, childhood experiences...)

He doesn't ask many 'get to know you' questions.

He rarely asks you about your family and/or children. 

He shows little interest in you mind and emotions, and only wants to get physical with you.

How to tell if he is using you - signs that a man is using you - no effort to please you 

When a man is using you;

He doesn't make an effort to please or surprise you, and never goes out of his way to please or surprise you. 

Unless asked, he doesn't do things to help you. 

He won't buy you flowers, chocolates or gifts (if his pay packet allows it.) 

If he does buy you gifts, it's always related to sex (like lingerie.)

How to tell if he is using you - signs that a man is using you - lack of affection 

When a man is using you;

He's not very affectionate when it comes to kissing, cuddling, gazing into your eyes...

He never holds your hand in public. 

He doesn't 'make love' to you, it's always just sex.

During intercourse, he's not intent on pleasing you.

Following intercourse, he goes a little cold, and gives you excuses for leaving. 

How to tell if he is using you - signs that a man is using you - little/no concern or interest

When a man is using you;

He doesn't show enough concern or interest, and a genuine concern or interest,  in your thoughts, feelings, desires. 

He's selfish.

The concern/interest in your 'relationship' isn't mutual.

Expectations in the relationship seem to be based on his desires, terms and conditions. 

You find that you have to initiate conversation. 

He never seems that interested in how your day has gone. 

When you talk together about your day, the focus is mainly on his day, him, his concerns. 

When you try to turn the conversation back onto yourself, he always turns the conversation back onto him, to what he wants to talk about. 

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  1. this is UBER SIMPLISTIC---a man is USING YOU when he sleeps with you and/or takes money from you and you are NOT HIS BRIDE..our grandmas said it best!

  2. Such wisdom! Through your teachings cupcake, iv been more than aware of my intuition..and it certainly works almost all the time. God bless you madame...sisters arise and be wary of those kind of men who want you for just physical gratification..they're not worth YOU

  3. Thanks Melina for the post :)


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