Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Rules Of Dating For Queens

©2008-2013 The Seductive Woman

Besides being a Queen, or a potential Queen, a woman's supposed to be PRECIOUS. Like the most valuable and precious gem, her body, mind and spirit are exceedingly valuable.

Moreover, there's a KING somewhere who matches her jewel's value (self,) and only a King can discern her worth, and offer her a setting that's as equally precious as her jewel!


However, a jewel can be FRAGILE, dove, and like a precious but fragile sculpture, a woman not only needs to handled with care, but to handle herself with care. 


In 'The Rules Of Dating For Queens,' handling yourself with care, or demonstrating 'self-care' involves being;

A woman who knows who she is.

A woman who knows what she wants.

A woman who knows what she deserves.

A woman who knows how she should be treated.

A woman who remains focused on her true desires.

A woman who has high standards.

A woman who has principles and values.

A woman who pursues excellence.

A woman who's committed to not settling.

A woman who has discernement.


A woman who has good sense.

A woman who follows caution.

When considering her prospects of marriage, or even just her dating prospects, the average woman (a woman who's not a Queen,) generally thinks only in terms of what she wants in a mate, or what she thinks she wants in a mate!

However, a woman who's following 'The Rules Of Dating For Queens,' who's facing realistically the selection of a mate, realizes that THREE things (not just one thing,) ought to be considered;


1. What she wants in a man.

2. What she needs in a man.

3. What kind of man she can realistically get.

What about you, cupcake? What kind of man do you want, if you're single?

Perhaps the ideal you currently have in your mind, of the kind of man you want, is not only something you can't get, but something that you have no need for. Ordinarily, you might think that the kind of man you want is also the kind you'd need.

Not so. And it often happens that a woman's desires are based on fickle, frivolous or impractical considerations.

Take the case of one woman. She specified that her man must be earning at least $200,000 a year before she'd even consider marrying him (apparently her reasons for setting the figure that high was because she knew nothing about cooking or managing a home, so she'd have to hire someone else to do that!)

Furthermore, the man this woman would be willing to marry had to be;

Of  'superior intelligence' (even though her own intelligence was probably not much more than average.)

Tall, dark, handsome, broad-shouldered, and at least six feet tall (even though this woman was technically overweight and rather plain.)

From a 'distinguished' family.

Either a doctor or a lawyer.

Of course, it's conceivable, doll, that this woman could get such a man (anything can happen in this crazy world!) 


However, being REALISTIC, and considering this woman's average looks, talents and background, she would realize that such a man was out of her league. She probably wouldn't have been able to attract or interest such a man in marriage, either.

Often too, what we want in a mate (or what we think that we want,) is based on our wants of the moment, rather than on our basic or long-term needs. 


But when following 'The Rules Of Dating For Queens,' you'll understand that qualities that may make a man seem wonderful on a date aren't necessarily the qualities that will make a wonderful MATE.

The two can be profoundly different.

A woman may want a man who'll be admired as 'good looking,' who's seen as a 'good catch,' who's popular with both men and women.... But will he be a KING? And will he be made of basic ‘King-material?’ 


**Furthermore, are you a QUEEN? You can learn about the requirements for becoming a Queen here; How to Be a Queen

While some qualities will make a man attractive to many women, they aren't necessarily important  qualities that a woman will NEED in a mate for future  fulfillment and happiness.

Moreover, when trying to follow 'The Rules Of Dating For Queens,' don't confuse a 'good date' with a 'good mate,' dove. For what you want in a date may be far removed from what you need in a committed relationship or marriage.

Too many times people fall in love with the 'glamorous' or surface traits in the opposite sex. A woman may fall in 'love' with Ben, because she likes;

His flattery.

His dancing.

His good taste in clothes.

In fact, these things may cast such a halo effect on the guy, that the infatuated woman gives little thought to the fact that he's (in reality;)

Selfish.

Disrespectful to women.

A chronic heavy drinker.

If a woman can see beyond a man's glamorous, or surface traits, she'll see that a man's vices would WRECK any relationship or marriage that he chose to undertake. 


And she'll be sparing herself much heartache in the process!

However, if a woman’s a QUEEN, she'll be able to discern that the man isn't a King, and that he's not even made of basic King-material for that matter. I'm also talking about material that's essential for co-creating a happy relationship and marriage.

By the way, lovely, a 'King,' 'King-material' and even 'Kingship' aren't ever measured by the way a man looks, or by his physical prowess. It also has little to do with a man being 'successful' (being a high earner,) driving the latest car, or his numerous athletic achievements.

A man can have all of these things but still not be a King. Perhaps it will be because he's;
 

Void in CHARACTER (the backbone of a King.)

Immature. 

Self-absorbed.

There are certain qualities and characteristics that almost every woman would accept as DESIRABLE in a man - such as good health, a sense of humor, dependability.... 


A King has many of these qualities and characteristics too :-)

Nevertheless, some women (including men,) set their 'mate goals' so HIGH when it comes to having these qualities and characteristics, that it's not only unrealistic, but years later, they may be terribly disappointed and frustrated, as a result.

Many unmarried women have confessed that they could have married when they were a lot younger, and quite happily married, but somehow the man NEVER seemed to be quite good enough.

Now, too old to have children, many of these women wish they'd been more practical in their early to mid twenties, and not have had to wait until their late thirties or forties to see their error!


In order to  obey 'The Rules Of Dating For Queens,' doll, don't wait until you're too OLD to marry and have children.

Another thing. There's a difference between Queens with high standards (who are looking for a King,) and average women who are fussy (and looking for Mr. Perfect!) 


And the latter class of women may be SO fussy, that they find something in every single man they date that doesn't conform to their idea of an 'ideal' man.

By the way, how do we come by our ideals for ideal mates? 


Well, often during adolescence, us girls somehow manage to form in our minds some kind of a 'dream hero'- a perfect man who's a composite of all the qualifications we want a future mate to have.

However, no such paragon of male perfection ever exists in REAL life, and the mental image will usually undergo some modifications as a girl matures.

Nevertheless, there are some traits in men that come under the categories of;

1. 'Essential Traits Of a KING.'

2. 'Essential Traits For a Happy Relationship and Marriage.'

A Queen will recognize all of these traits, and if she’s still single, will be keeping herself reserved only for the man who's WORTHY enough to be her King :-)

In considering what she needs in a mate, a Queen finds it helpful to consider what are the most important things for gaining happiness in life. 


Furthermore, she knows full well that a relationship will be good for her only if it satisfies and fulfills her basic psychological needs.

These needs are primarily psychological. Moreover, in considering whether a man will make a good King for her, or at least has the potential to be a King, a Queen needs to obey
'The Rules Of Dating' by asking herself the following questions;

Is he a man who I can respect - and who other people can respect?

**A Queen wants a man who she can think well of, honor, look up to and ADMIRE! Furthermore, she wants a man who's not rude, discourteous, sloppy, lazy and who won't embarrass her in public by doing things that will make them be criticized by others.

Is he a man who shows me respect?

Is he a man with high ethical standards?

**A King is an ethical man in everything that he does. So much so, that he lives his life, without compromise.

Is he a man who accepts his responsibility and duty to his family, to society and to his country?

Is he a man who takes responsibility for his actions?

Is he a man who's honest and trustworthy?

**A King doesn't lie, cheat or steal. PERIOD.

Is he a man who's reliable?

**A Queen can always rely on her King!




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15 comments:

  1. I love your spirit, Melina! May God continue to enlighten and inspire us through you. For, we are all vessels of God's divine glory. Peace and love--Siddiyqa.

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  2. Thank you! Wishing you much love, peace and Divine Blessings too, dear Siddiyqa! xox

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  3. Awesome post! Much love, Lori

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  4. Glad you enjoyed it, Lori! have a great day/night! x0x

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  5. awesome. keep it up so that i can learn more about women. :)

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  6. Hi Krissia. You're welcome, sister!

    You're right in believing that I directed that statement to women who may lack awareness and only look at the surface traits :-)

    And an 'average'-looking woman who's feminine, graceful, poised, intelligent and self-aware can attract just about ANY man!

    Thanks for stopping by! x

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  7. I really enjoyed this article! awesome :)

    I also purchased your work at home product about an hour ago.. excitedly waiting for the e-mail with all the information!

    Fati xx

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  8. Everytime I read one of your articles I long more and more to fall in love and to find that woman who is more perfect for me than all the others and marry her. Women are truly a creation from God and proof of His love. Keep up the good work.

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  9. Thank you so much for such an insightful piece! Really needed to read this today:)) Blessings and much love:)

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  10. Thank you everyone for the sweet comments :-)

    @ Fati, I sent your stuff, lovely. Check your inbox if you haven't already!

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  11. Hi Melina,
    Loved this article. How insightful. Do you think some men are 'kings in the making'?? I know a man who possesses most of these qualities who just isn't there yet. I truly love him and have hope for him.

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  12. Absolutely do I believe that some men are 'Kings in the making!' Especially if they already have most of the qualities. xx

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